COMMITMENT #5 NO SELFISH AMBITION

Each of us begins the journey to “minister” in many different ways and for many different reasons. 

As I shared previously I began my ministry because I was keeping my promise to the Lord “If you restore my marriage I will tell the world that nothing is impossible with You.” Then, later I was "called" to ministry (that I will explain more about in the Having COMPASSION commitment), and soon after, I found myself ripped from my ministry (that I also explain in Having COMPASSION). It was soon after this series of refining fires that the Lord finally saw I was ready to be a suitable minister. And that’s when RMI began expanding from the tiny bit of rubble that was left when my ministry was graciously turned over to me again.

Each time RMI began to expand at this point, with a vision to help more women, I began to entrust different women with what I had been doing. And what later surfaced is that not everyone has the same heart as I have. Several who helped had worked for me or with me for many years but for many selfish reasons—resulting in confusion, disorder and “all kinds of evil things.” 

Take a moment to read this same verse in each of these Bible versions (below) because it will help you to grasp the variables even more.

"Are you jealous? Are you concerned only about getting ahead? Then your life will be a mess. You will be doing all kinds of evil things." James 3:16 NIRV

"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing." James 3:16 

"Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats." James 3:16 Message

"For where envy and self-seeking exist, CONFUSION and every evil thing are there." James 3:16 NKJV

"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." James 3:16 NIV

The evil that ultimately resulted was the collapse of RMI again and again. That’s right, RMI didn’t collapse just once or twice—but several times over the course of many years—first due to not understanding my call, then later due to entrusting others who did not have the right heart that the Lord spoke about in John 10:13 (NKJV)

“The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep.”

Instead, as it says in The Message (MSG), we have to have the right heart whereby we put the good of the sheep ahead of ourselves as Jesus did.

The verse says, “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before Himself, sacrifices Himself if necessary. A hired man is not a real shepherd. The sheep mean nothing to him. He sees a wolf come and runs for it, leaving the sheep to be ravaged and scattered by the wolf. He’s only in it for the personal gain. The sheep don’t [really] matter to him.”

If your motivation is fame or prestige or hanging out with who you believe is spiritual or any other reason than to lay down your life for His calling, please find somewhere else to spend your free time. There are many ministries that need help. But, if you want to be here, minister with us, then you need to realize that each of us (me included) are nothing more than a servant. We are called to serve and think of others as more important than ourselves.

"Look at how much encouragement you’ve found in your relationship with the Anointed One! You are filled to overflowing with his comforting love. You have experienced a deepening friendship with the Holy Spirit and have felt his tender affection and mercy.

"So I’m asking you, my friends, that you be joined together in perfect unity—with one heart, one passion, and united in One love [HIS]. Walk together with one harmonious purpose and you will fill my heart with unbounded joy.

"Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests." Philippians 2:1-4 Passion

Women who write praise reports often do so for the sake of flaunting their spirituality or good deeds (or even sins) so they can be seen by others or because they like to hear themselves talk. Some women strive to be the center of things, the center of attention. But here, in RMI, the only Center, the only Star can be or will be the Lord.

This is why the Encourager Team and our other newsletter teams are being trained to spot ministers who have a weakness for needing affirmation and then not feed their flesh. The reason is getting that form of recognition, anything apart from the real Source, having all they need from Him, will never heal them or fill the void. 

WALL OF SHAME 

There were two situations when the enemy used two different women in the collapse of RMI. These two women both later came to me and confessed that the main reason they wanted to help in my ministry was so they could work with and get to know me personally. And to make sure no one else got in the way of our relationship, they purposely kept others, who volunteered, away. They began by not forwarding emails to me and/or ignoring emails when other women wanted to help. Over a period of months and years, both times, I sat stunned not knowing what was happening, wondering why everyone was disappearing. I had no idea that they both were struggling with their ambition and selfishness. Thankfully He showed us a solution—as He always does—to prevent this from reoccurring.

Though you may never believe YOU could do something so horrible, it can happen. And even if it doesn’t get this far. As soon as your own ambition gets in the way of serving, of you being a minister for the wrong reasons, to look or appear important, or fulfill something you’ve always wanted or even felt you were “called to do”—that’s the moment when confusion will get in to the ministry, through you, like a horrible whirlwind.

Each time I watched the collapse, it was extremely difficult to let go of the person—due to me having such a close and dear friendship with them. Yet it was only after they were let go that I could sense and see everything that had been stirred up. The torrent would suddenly settle down, and calm remained in its place.

Very much like a tornado or hurricane, it is only after the winds stop blowing that you can see the destruction. There are still a few destructive examples that have yet to be rectified and ongoing evidence that we uncover even now years later. Just this week Tara, who builds our websites and oversees Encouraging Bookstore discovered there were more than one bookstore, because one minister used this as a means to embezzle money. Building her own Encouraging Bookstore so that the funds would go to her account and not the ministry account.

A few years ago I had another woman whom I loved dearly who offered to help with the book By the Word of Their Testimony. She offered to help me with the dozens and dozens of testimonies that were coming in every week. She said she could bring some sort of order to them and get them into one book, then once one was filled, she’d begin to fill another and another and another. What I did was to entrust a very vital task to her not knowing her heart and her motivation. Only much later did I realize she wanted to be important, and for so many years—our restored marriages that she gathered were left in a HUGE and utter mess.

Basically there are so many duplicates of restored marriage testimonies that got into more than one book, with titles she changed, names she changed and my greatest hope was that no testimonies were ever lost. So I claimed injustice, Isaiah 61: 7-8 and also Isaiah 40: 1-2 due to me not being more wise when I turned this important project over to someone else. And because I failed to be careful with what has to be our most IMPORTANT resource—due to what it says in Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death” I waited until GOD was ready to get this mess sorted.

Each one of the restored marriage testimonies proving GOD’S POWER, I believe, has enough resurrection power to help one woman overcome the enemy by that one testimony written just for her. So that's why this was so very sad.

This woman finally left the ministry on her own accord, but not before spreading lies about me, which led to another good friend to leave. A few months later, she returned, not to confess and to ask for my forgiveness, but sadly, to begin giving large amounts of money to RMI monthly. It might ease her conscience, but I'd rather her be free from what has her bound. The one she convinced to leave returned to her boyfriend and passed away while living with him. Selfish ambition, it says clearly leads to—"every evil practice." 

UPDATE: Praise the Lord. Only a few days after confessing this again, the Lord took mercy on me and He showed me how to begin to recover from this destruction. When new RMT “Restored Marriage Testimonies” come in, they are now carefully posted and then added to the next Word of their Testimony book!

Then, as most of you know, they were also added to Course 1 to reinforce His truth that "nothing is impossible with God."

PREVENTION

Due to how devastating this whirlwind of confusion always is, as soon as I ever sense any CONFUSION, I first stop and look closely at myself to see if it’s rooted in me.

Why? 

It’s easy for me to want something done and fail to make sure I am continually following the Lord and His leading. Also, I believe that before we point the finger at anyone else, we need to first look within. Confusion and then evil can easily infiltrate what you’re doing and it will ultimately spread to:

• every evil thing.
• all kinds of evil things.
• resulting in...ending up at each other’s throats.

For quite some time, I've kept this in check by beginning my day and moving from one thing to the other with the words “He leads me”—just three words taken from Psalm 23. And when anything is too difficult for me to “lift” mentally, emotionally, spiritually or if I ever feel rushed, I stop and close my computer. Once He leads me back, I again begin to say in my heart “He leads me” and I get back on His narrow path.

And as I said, if I sense confusion in anyone else, I do my best to stop and temporarily remove the person from their position, to give them time to SG "seek God" and get at the root of the issue. What’s so wonderful is that we only need to ask Him, confess when He shows us what it is, and then very often to simply confess it to someone else for the Lord to take our sins and doubly bless us!!

“Speak kindly . . . And call out to her, that her warfare has ended, that her iniquity has been removed, that she has received of the LORD'S hand DOUBLE for all her sins.” Isaiah 40:2

“Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.” Isaiah 30:18

The POWER of a 3-Cord 

“Two are better than one for they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-1

“But Moses’ hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set.” Exodus 17:12

For many years the Lord had spoken to us about forming 3-Cords for every position. And even though I encourage everyone to help make this a reality, up until just recently, it’s really never happened. One reason was that it wasn’t explained nearly enough why having a 3-Cord was so important, nor did we make it a mandatory protocol to follow.

It was just recently that I looked at a 3-Cord (and also the importance of having Teams) in an entirely new way. He opened my eyes when I began encouraging our Project Manager to begin finding and training OM “Office Managers” because He said “The more your PM does to help you, the larger the target is on her back.” I knew immediately that’s what happened in the past, and why the enemy always used the self-ambition weaknesses in previous leaders to keep others from helping. If it’s just one woman doing everything, then when things are finally moving along smoothly, the enemy can suddenly take out that ONE person and the entire ministry crumbles before our eyes.

The truth is we can’t afford to lose anyone of you. That means, if we don’t heed this warning He’s given us, with new insight, along with the plan of action—I could very well again sit among rubble and I just feel I am too old to start over again!

Yvonne: I just want to give a little testimony on how the Lord is changing me. I do not work very well in a team. It was always easier for me to work alone. Now the Lord is changing all that because if we don’t work together as a 3 cord with Him as leader of the team we will not be successful, He is helping me to apply this in every aspect of my life, but it all started right here. He is so awesome:):):)

STOP, Selah, right now and ask Him if each of your tasks to have a Task Partner and an ATL "Administrative Team Leader"—which He showed us makes up the perfect 3 Cord.

*If you're missing a Task Partner simply ASK HIM to reveal who you could ask to join you. Let your ATL know so she can invite her to the PPP Training. This allows us to know who is being trained because very often there are no language barriers so Task Partners can be shared across to another Language.